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Title:Walking in Circles Before Lying Down
Format Type:Ebook
Author:
Publisher:Villard
ISBN:140006483X
ISBN 13:
Number of Pages:279
Category:Fiction, Dogs, Chick lit, Animals, Humor

Walking in Circles Before Lying Down by Merrill Markoe

PDF, EPUB, MOBI, TXT, DOC Walking in Circles Before Lying Down Dawn Tarnauer s life isn t exactly a success story Already twice divorced the young Californian is too busy job hopping to start a career her current boyfriend insists on living off the grid her Life Coach sister perpetually interferes with incomprehensible affirmations her eccentric mother is busy promoting the culmination of her life s work The Every Holiday Tree and her father is ending his brief third marriage while scheduling two dates for the same night .

Dawn s only source of security and comfort it seems is Chuck a pit bull mix from the pound So when her boyfriend announces that he s leaving her for another woman a despairing Dawn turns to Chuck for solace I should have said something sooner Chuck confides as he tries to console her Couldn t you smell her on his pants Dawn is stunned It s one thing to talk to your pets but what do you do when they start talking back It s not just Chuck either she can hear all dogs and man s best friend has a lot to say The ever enthusiastic Chuck offers his tried and true advice on the merits of knocking over garbage and strewing it everywhere auxiliary competitive peeing etiquette and the curative powers of tossing a ball Doubtful of her own sanity Dawn considers that in the ways of life and love it might be better to trust Chuck s doggie instincts instead of her own .

Filled with sharp wit biting humor and canine conversation that would make Doctor Dolittle s jaw drop Merrill Markoe s engaging cleverly written novel is about the confusing search for love and the divine acts of dog

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How to Be Hap-Hap-Happy Like Me!, Cool, Calm & Contentious, Merrill Markoe's Guide to Love, The Psycho Ex Game, Walking in Circles Before Lying Down, Nose Down, Eyes Up, Late Night with David Letterman: The Book, What the Dogs Have Taught Me: And Other Amazing Things I've Learned, It's My F---ing Birthday, The Day My Dogs Became Guys
Perpetually interested in self improvement the author of What the Dogs Have Taught Me is back and funnier than ever By reading my book you can become happier without ever having to leave the comfort and security of your own private hell she writes In How to Be Hap Hap Happy Like Me Merrill Markoe has undertaken the arduous task of actually carrying out the best how to be happy suggestions from the wisest of all possible sources of advice the Days to a Happier Life Desk Calendar So abandon the pursuit of happiness sit back and extend a social invitation to someone you ve always been afraid to approach and share Merrill s unforgettable dinner with Fabio take the time to improve your knowledge of another period of history while dining with Merrill at the Medieval Times Dinner and Tournament Restaurant franchise where the year is A D and you are the guests of the royal castle plan a party and invite the people you care about in which you watch Merrill answer the door in her pajamas and pretend the party was yesterday enroll in a class or lecture that interests you accompanying Merrill to a session of Dominatrix at the Learning Annex Where else can you discover the beauty secrets of someone who is not so genetically perfect that her advice is completely useless or How to Please a Man Every Time and Have Him Okay Maybe Not Beg for More but at Least Not Demand a Whole Lot Less Markoe is that rare soul who will unselfishly share with you these and many other secrets of how to live a not totally nightmarish life And even if you don t learn anything this book will make you laugh which is more happiness than you can get from most desk calendars, Lisa Roberty is a successful screenwriter with an impoverished social life who s enduring a demoralizing job at the mind numbing sitcom i You Go Girl i Grant Repka is an obscure indie rock musician who in his forties finds his career surprisingly resurrected with the success of his comic operetta about the doomed romance of Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson When Grant and Lisa meet after one of his shows sparks don t immediately fly but e mail addresses are exchanged A my book for your CD trade and a couple of e mails later Lisa tells Grant that she enjoys his song My Psycho Ex but warns him that where psycho exes are concerned she s pretty sure she could drink him under the table br br Little does she know that this will become the opening salvo in an epic e mail battle dubbed the Psycho Ex Game a storytelling competition in which horrific tales of dysfunctional love and living with lunatics are volleyed with glee The rules are simple the point system unique the experiences that would normally leave someone running for the therapist s office humiliation degradation and complicity in psychotic behavior just might win match point in the Psycho Ex Game Now it s Grant vs Lisa as the wretched tales of his ex the Junkie Queen of Darkness vie with the woe inflicted by her ex a tantrum throwing actor director widely known as Mr Summer Box Office Record Holder br br As the correspondence evolves it surprises Lisa by offering her the kind of intimacy she has never shared with a man in the same room Before long what started as a friendly competition becomes a road map to an unlikely couple s growing involvement leaving both Grant and Lisa secretly wondering If we were to get involved which one of us is potentially the next Psycho Ex br br Written in alternating he said she said chapters b The Psycho Ex Game b is shot through with the acerbic humor of Merrill Markoe and the mordant observations that have made Andy Prieboy a literate voice in rock b The Psycho Ex Game b is a hilarious dissection of injuries sustained on the front lines of romance and the careful nursing that gets us battleready once again br br br i From the Hardcover edition i, At forty seven Gil is the world s oldest twenty two year old man living in relative contentment with his four dogs including the alpha Jimmy When he stumbles upon Jimmy delivering lectures on canine manipulative techniques to the rest of the dogs in the neighborhood Gil s not particularly surprised and his eyes light up with dollar signs But their money making venture has barely begun when chatty canine Jimmy realizes the shocking truth He s adopted And not only is Gil not his real father they re not even the same species In the identity crisis that ensues Gil hears the last thing he wants his favorite dog to say Jimmy wants to be reunited with his birth mother a bitch owned by Gil s sexy ex wife now remarried and living in Malibu Could things get worse Apparently yes, Carey has three ordinary lovable dogs Until one day during a solar eclipse he finds three pretty strange people who used to be his pets Butch now a teenage boy starts chasing cars and yelling at the squirrels while DeeDee finds to her great delight that she can open a refrigerator and get all the food she wants Ed seems to just want to take a nap but how is Carey going to control the other two And what will happen when his mother gets home